Welcome back!! Hope it has/ or will be a great Thursday! Just think, the week is almost over! I’ll be honest with you last week was quite the week. However, I feel like God is calling me to share what I am going through, because with the help of a great friend, the situation went from a mess to okay. So the week of the third was quite a week. Very busy and very different. Throughout the week, I was reminded God has a plan and he is in control. I have always needed a reminder that God is in control.
Like I said previously this last week, I had quite the week. Many tears were shed and many emotions were present. I will tell you, because I bet you all can’t wait to hear!
Okay so as I shared in my one post about my testimony, my grandma is one of my adult best friends. If I had a rough day at school, or I am having problems with anything, I text her and we talk through it over Panera! If Panera wasn’t so expensive, I would be living off of Panera and Chick-fil-a until I die. But Chick-fil-a is a hike away, and Panera costs an arm and a leg! Okay, back to my story… So my grandma is my best friend, someone I look up to and someone I aspire to be once I get older. Last Tuesday, I got together with a group of Student Ministry Leaders at my church to debrief about one of our previous trips. I was excited, and couldn’t wait to hear all the great stories from the trip. We were getting towards the end and we started talking about discipling, (for those of you who don’t know what discipling is, it’s something were you meet up with someone and you follow Jesus together.) I’ll talking about discipleship in a future post! So during this meeting, I was asked “Raegan who disciples you?” Technically I have many women pouring into me and we are growing together in our relationship, making our times together intentional. But I answered without a hesitation and said “My grandma and Susie Paffumi.” (Susie is another one of my adult best friends!) And right after I answered that question someone asked me “what is going to happen since your grandma…” my jaw most have hit the floor or something because they stopped mid-sentence. I went into complete panic mode, like trying to figure out what’s going on with my grandma, I started to panic that she was in the hospital or was all of a sudden diagnosed with some lethal disease. Then I though for a second, I remember seeing a padlock on my grandmas door (one for moving) and I remember hearing one of my parents saying her house sold. So I put two and two together. SHE WAS MOVING AND DIDN’T TELL ME! So as quick as my little thumbs could move I texted my mom and dad and grandma asking separately seeing where in the world my grandma was moving. Grandma was the first person to respond to me
Me: “I heard your house sold, where are you planning on moving to?”
Within a minute she says
“You already know sweetheart”
(Trust me I don’t)
Me: “no I don’t” “Is it Ky”
She responded with ya.
Let me just tell you I lost it, I have never moved so fast in my life I headed to the bathroom locked the door and cried my eyes out. I cried and cried. Lately school has been rough, I honestly only have four close friends and that’s about it. So hearing my best friend who I look up to is moving, and I didn’t hear it from her I was hysterical. So like everyone who has read my previous posts I’m a hysterical crier and once I start to break down it takes me a good ten to twenty minutes to become rational and come back to the real world again. As I was crying my two eyes out in the bathroom, I heard a slight knock and it was one of the leaders to check on me. I also only feel comfortable crying in front of a few people, so i had to pull myself together for her to come in. I let her in and we talked about it for a solid twenty minutes, just in time to join back in the group at the end of prayer.
Heading home from this meeting all these negitive thoughts filled my head I started to blame myself, (I honestly don’t know it could have been my fault). I got home and texted my boyfriend (Seth Wirt, I have brought him up a few times, but next week you guys will get to hear about the first time we met.) However, I texted him and he asked me if I cried at all, and I can’t lie to him so I told him yes. He asked me if it was a nuclear meltdown (that’s what he calls it when I can’t get control of myself and just cry.) So of course I told him yes because I did, and he facetimed me, I had mascara running everywhere, (If you know 80’s music at all I looked like I was apart of the band Kiss.) In all honesty, I felt gross, so I made Seth facetime my ceiling when I talked about everything.
I’ll be completely honest: at the start of this, I was so confused and didn’t know how to feel. Long story short-it took me until last Thursday to figure out my feelings and that I wasn’t in control with this and it wasn’t my fault. With Seth’s help, I forgave my grandma and figured out how I was feeling in the matter of a few days.
On Saturday my grandma came over and we talked through somethings and figured everything out. All was good.
The reason why I tell you guys that story is because through it all I was reminded that I wasn’t in control and God has a plan for me, and He has my back.
This is one of my favorite verses and its such a great reminder. It was in my head through this whole situation
“ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11
This verse was such a great reminder though this whole situation. When all things went crazy in my life, I just needed the reminder that God had a plan and that he will provide!
Another biblical example of this happening is in the book of Genesis. Just in the last few months I was given the opportunity to teach about Genesis twelve. I was able to take my own twist on this. I quickly caught on that God was showing here, that he had a plan and was going through with the plan.
“The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” -Genesis 12:1-3
So this passage is God making a promise to Abram, who later becomes Abraham. But, he is making this promise to him, and saying if you listen to me and pick up everything and move, God will bless him. Later in Genesis, the Lord did exactly as he said, and fulfills his promises. God had a plan for Abram, and told Abram directly. That will not happen to most people, where God appears and is like “What’s up ___(your name there). This is my plan for you. Instead we have to have faith in the Lord and know in hardships, that he will provide.
Just like my favorite spot in the bible its says in verse 10 “ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
God is there in the hardships, in persecutions, and in difficulties. He will be there! I hope everyone took something away from this post!!
I love you all thanks for checking in this week!! Sorry that it was about God having a plan rather than the first few days of my trip! But don’t worry it will be that next week and you all can look forward to that! God put this on my heart to share with you guys!!